Recognising Domestic Abuse

About Domestic Abuse

Do you feel?

• isolate
• bullied
• belittled
• like you are walking on egg shells

Is your partner?

• possessive
• controlling

Does your partner?

• threaten you
• your children

Does your partner?

• hit
• push
• kick you

Does your partner?

• deny the abuse
• blames you

What is Domestic Abuse?

It can be any abuse that happens in a personal or family relationship. It can be actual or threatened abuse. It can be physical, sexual, emotional or financial abuse, or more likely a combination of these, of a person, by someone who could be a partner, family member or someone with whom there is or has been a relationship. These are all ways that perpetrators of domestic abuse can control, humiliate, undermine, threaten, and force the people they are suppose to love and care about to do what they want.  

It remains a hidden crime as victims suffer silently, afraid for themselves and their children and have feelings of shame and embarrassment because of what is happening to them. Some victims do not recognise they are experiencing domestic abuse. No one deserves to live in fear because of an abusive relationship. Experiencing domestic abuse can have long term impacts on working life and can lead to absences in work.

Where there are children or young people in the household, they will always be affected by living with domestic abuse, even if they are not being abused directly themselves. Research indicates that in 90% of domestic abuse incidents, children are in the same or next room.

Domestic Abuse is an issue facing many families regardless of:

• where they live
• cultural background
• social class
• education
• age
• physical ability
• sexuality
• gender

More examples of abusive behaviour 

• controlling the finances
• hurting you emotionally
• subjecting you to sexual abuse
• hurting you physically
• damaging your possessions
• smashing up the furniture
• threatening to kill the pets
• threatening to kidnap or get custody of the children
• locking you out of the house during an argument
• telling you what to wear or how to do your hair

If you recognise any of the above behaviours then its likely you are a victim of domestic abuse.

You are not alone. It's not your fault. You have the right to feel safe.

Many children and young people are affected by growing up in homes where there is domestic abuse. Children and young people may be witnessing or hearing the domestic abuse. Research indicates that in 90% of domestic abuse incidents, children are in the same room or next room.

If you are in an abusive relationship. Talk to someone now! Someone you trust, a close friend, family member or someone you respect or contact one of the following helplines:

If you are a perpetrator of domestic abuse you can choose what kind of person you want to be. If you want to stop hurting the people you love try and get help now-there are agencies that can provide workshops and counselling to help stop this cycle of abuse.